HAPPY FRIDAY! MY OH MY!!!...my hit counter flipped 30, 000 today! That can't be right???!
Well, I'm sure most of it was from me hitting the "refresh" button repeatedly. HAHA!...kidding! Only a day shy from PEGPOWER's first anniversary of being re-launched and it continues to amaze me that people read this site!

This morning I woke up with an incredible sadness. Most of it carried over from last night, but it didn't help that for the second time this week I had a dream of being in love with someone else (a faceless man). The dream always feels so real...and in the dream, I'm utterly and giddily in love! I always wake up feeling ashamed, guilty, and unfaithful. =(
**NOTE: family members do not be alarmed!** It's not like things between Aric and I are THAT bad. I'd like to think that we're just going through what any other married couple goes through...one of the "ups and downs" of things. In any case, after putting Ashlyn in front of the TV with a handful of Cherrios, I went into another room to call Aric at work. AND that's when I started sobbing uncontrollably. I hate crying... it makes me feel weak. And when I state my points, I want to say them with strength and conviction. Aric is a good listener though...he never interrupts or gets defensive. But I realize that when it comes to showing affection or displaying emotion, it doesn't come easy for him.
Perhaps it was wrong of me to call him at work...afterall, we didn't solve anything in the short time on the phone. Perhaps it was even thoughtless and cruel of me to "dump" it on him and ruin an otherwise productive day. Perhaps I worry WAY too much! *sigh*

The rest of the day was okay, I guess. Narcolepsy hit this afternoon. No matter how hard I tried staying awake, I kept nodding off. I laid down on the couch and closed my eyes as Ashlyn played nearby. I woke up twenty minutes later feeling much better. I quickly glanced around the room, but Ashlyn was nowhere to be seen. Panic struck for a second, until I looked down and found her curled up like a kitty and asleep right next to me at the foot of the couch. *whew!* I think I need to see a doctor about this fatigue. It's really unusual. I wonder if my thyroid problem is back. That was the only time I felt tired...but back then, I didn't have a baby to watch after.

After Ashlyn awoke from her nap, we went to go visit Grace, Lauren, and Baby Taylor. It's been a few weeks since I last saw them, and Baby Taylor grew! She grew long, not wide. She's skinny with super long limbs (arms, legs, finger, and toes). =D She was also more alert and active. Grace looks great and Lauren is adjusting to her new "big sis" status. Aric called wondering where I was. I sort of lost track of time and didn't realize it was got so late.

Once I got home, Aric greeted me awkwardly and timidly with a hug and kiss. He was being all shy for some reason. And this is coming from a guy who takes great joy in farting in front of me.
Aric had the whole evening planned out . We went to dinner at Peppino's in Lake Forest. Dinner was fantastic. I love family owned Italian food establishments....the food was fresh, tasty, and generous in portions. Dinner conversation felt strangely formal...like our first date or something. I had to tell him that as much as I LOVED the gesture, he really didn't have to do ALL that. I mean, I felt like we were going from one extreme to the other. I would have settled for something in between. I think he knew what I meant and relaxed after that. For once we talked...really talked about things other than the baby. We had discussions on work, people, current events, and such. He made me laugh with his descriptive stories, analogies, and clever wit. There something to be said about a great conversation....it's kind of a...uh, turn on. =P
The evening was really nice and it made me happy. Afterwards we picked up some DVDs at Blockbusters. We rented "Collateral Damage" and "Iron Monkey". We watched "Collateral Damage", and I don't know if it was me or the movie, but I was nodding off again. I slept through fifteen minutes toward the end, and woke up for the last five minutes. The movie was aiight.

Pictures from today:

Lauren and Ashlyn

Baby Taylor

Aric and Ashlyn

Ashlyn (blinked) at the Peppino's

23600 Rockfield Boulevard
Lake Forest, CA
Tel: (949) 951-2611

I'm tired. I have to pack and prep some things for Ann's Bachelorette Party tomorrow.
Have a great weekend!

Ashlyn's pic of the day

back to journals